GLENDA!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

friday
i was totally pissed with myself. and sad. and tired. but most of all, i was pissed. i couldn't full up. i hav no idea why. after that, i wanted so much to go back on that stage and dance properly. i was angry that i couldn't even 拼 properly. i was slow for quite a number of times. n wad worries me the most was that i pian1 tai2 like dunno wad. if i'm wrong, then the whole row behind me will pian1 tai2 too. we were all tired and everyone looked like they were half-dead. everything was so scary. i was so afraid i would make a mistake. my box kept unbalancing. there's something wrong with me. i lost my sense of balance. why didn't i jus cherish the time and oppurtunity that we were even there in the first place. i feel like going on that stage again. please, help me find my inner peace.
yesterday
dragged myself to tuition. i knew right from the start that i won't absorb anything. but still, i went. i noe i'm gonna do very badly for my mid-years. i have no idea wad i'm supposed to do. everyday, i hear the same thing over n over again. "everyday u dance n dance, do u even care about ur studies anymore? why do u torture yourself like that? might as well dropout and dance ur whole life away." it's not that i want to be stressed, but i think i'm stressing myself more than i ever did. those words meant something before, but now i jus feel a stab of pain, and let the whole feeling disappear again. why am i so emo? argh my hands r trembling, can't stand it anymore.

Labels: bad days

got me singing like, nananana everyday, 10:26 AM.